Findom: The power play of financial domination

It’s called “Findom.” Financial domination. In the vast world of BDSM roleplaying dynamics, this kink is primarily psychological. The two parties needn’t necessarily ever touch, or even meet to be involved in a findom relationship.

There are two chief players:

• The paypig. Findom’s submissive. The paypig gives money to the dominant person in the dynamic.
• Findomme. The dominant role. This person receives the money.

Findom relationships are completely consensual and can be a thrilling component of a BDSM dynamic. The Findomme enjoys wielding power while the paypig takes pleasure in relinquishing financial control.

Of course, the devil is in the details. To introduce financial domination into a relationship in a way that is mutually satisfying to all parties, you first need to understand it backward and forward.

In this article, we provide a comprehensive overview of how to enjoy the intricate power plays of financial domination.

Who does this?

Findom relationships commonly take place between a cis male who plays the role of the submissive, and a dominant female. However, like any kink, it’s open to anyone. People from all backgrounds and with a wide range of preferences participate.

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What do people like about Findom relationships?

The pleasure found in financial domination is a direct extension of what people enjoy about so many other kinks in the BDSM space, taken into a different territory.

While leather and whips are sidelined in favor of Venmos and credit card purchases, the basic ingredients remain the same:

• An exchange of power. Couples find heightened intimacy in being vulnerable and exploring one another’s boundaries. Trust is the operative ingredient behind any BDSM relationship. Both parties must feel comfortable with one another for the exchange to be successful.
• A sensual thrill. Findom explores sensuality through expressions that are more psychologically subtle than physical touch. The participants in a findom relationship may never make actual contact with one another.

The dominant feels empowered by the financial worship they receive from the paypig. The paypig, meanwhile, takes pleasure in being dominated. These are the basic ingredients of any BDSM relationship, taken into a deeply capitalistic space. In a world where people are measured by their money, financial dominance turns cash into a different form of currency. Where tying self-worth to finance has proven mental consequences, findom introduces a potentially positive twist in which the quantity of wealth is less important than how it is exchanged between parties.

How is this different than giving your partner a gift?

When one person shows up to date night with a bouquet of flowers, and maybe a box of chocolates for their partner, an exchange certainly has taken place. Psychologically speaking, there may even be an experiential overlap between what the giftgiver is experiencing, and what the submissive enjoys about a findom dynamic.

In both cases, the person who is giving has connected their value to external factors. The guy with flowers isn’t just displaying his affection, but setting himself up as a provider. Certainly, the paypig also provides.

The key difference is control. When a man shows up to his date with a gift he can be sure what is being given and how much it costs—both of which are dominant relationship factors. He is giving something of himself, but in a way that reinforces control rather than diminishing it.

Financial domination is a complete reversal. In these situations, the findomme demands what they are given. The paypig forfeits control and relinquishes power. In fact, that’s the point.

How is it done?

The extent to which the paypig is financially dominated will depend on the perimeters set by the participants in the relationship. In some cases, the relationship is very transactional. The submissive will simply send money to the dominant, either as a one-time payment, or a recurring transfer of money.

Other times, domination is total. Some submissives will hand over passwords to the dominant, giving them complete control over their banking information.

This payment does not necessarily entitle the person making it with access to the dominant. They may not receive pictures, or even messages from the other person. In fact, being ignored may be part of the experience for the paypig. In submitting to the dominant, they relinquish even the expectation of gratitude.

Within this framework, respect for boundaries is paramount. Consent is every bit as important in a findom relationship as it is in a more traditional sexual encounter.

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Where does this take place?

The interesting thing about financial domination is that it often involves two people who have never met before. Dominants and submissives will find one another through BDSM boards, or other online services.

The conditions of this fetish present challenges for both parties:

• For the paypig: For the submissive, the challenge is in finding someone they can trust. Some married couples don’t even provide one another with complete control over their personal finances. Finding a stranger on the internet who can be trusted to respect the perimeters of the arrangement is not easy. There are obvious risks involved in handing over your banking information to someone you don’t know in the real world.
• For the dominant. Dominants often aren’t ready for this level of control. They want to play out the kink, but in a way that isn’t damaging to the other person.

These challenges make findom relationships difficult to establish safely.

Conclusion

The intersection of money and sex is nothing new. Financial dominance is a natural development in a world where physical connections, wealth, and power are so intimately intertwined. The key to exploring any kink is to find a way to do it safely.

If you are going to participate in a findom relationship online, make sure that the hosting site you use is well-established, with a strong history of producing safe experiences. Research how to meet people safely online.

Not really sure you're fully comfortable to discuss this topic with real people yet? There are ways to explore this kink without any risk. HeraHaven AI offers such risk-free experience.